Saturday, February 7, 2009

THE RECESSION IS OVA!

I dedicate this one to all the single ladies out there!

So i was at the Walmart in Binghamton the other day,.,., and i was quite disturbed by what i saw.
Everyone there looked deformed, i didnt see one normal looking person there. I asked my brother "Do they dump nuclear waste near here or something" He replied "Its like going to the Zoo, you gotta just take it all in" So thats what i did. There were nasty nasties, super baddies, people with small heads, 3rd generation hicks, Navajo Indians and so many other strange species. There was one lady on line that caught my attention. Fat. Pushing 300 mos likely, pinched face with glasses, short. small red hooked nose. She looked like a obese pigeon with boobs. She was leaning on a cart, 1/3 of her mass. In the cart were about 10 small cans of cat food. She looked like the type that enjoys cat food. She probably had cats before she ate them.

So anyways i was talking to my lady friend on aim the other day. She was talkin bout how she had woken up because she had a dream where she was peeing, so she made sure she didnt pee in her bed and went to the bathroom, then went back to sleep. I replies: so true, so trues. a similar thing happend to me I had a dream that there was a monkey in my room, so i woke up made sure there was no monkey, went to the bathroom, and went back to sleep.

In art im drawing a baby in a Hamburger aka, Hamburga baby. and its dreaming bout a hamburgR, in the dream caption it says "....see da burger, be da burger". My art teacher doesnt like it. She cant handle tha mind Explosion.

THEE END BIACH!!

18 comments:

  1. And people think Hemingway has style...

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  2. "when it comes to the children, Wu-Tang is for the children. We teach the children. Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is the best." -Ol' Dirty

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  3. does each paragraph have any relation to the others, just curious

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  4. hahah evan. wow Simon this made me crack up so hard. it goes a little bit over....

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  5. hahahah does anything have to do with anything? the paragraphs dont connect and the title has nothing to do with the story and the tags lol

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  6. never tell the secret of the wu tang.

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  7. a gang of ninjas killed my family.
    can i have money to take kung fu lessons?

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  8. a group of ninjas killed my family.
    can i have money to take kung fu lessons?

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  9. Simon, this is spectacular writing. Nice imagery and slab of humor. SO FUNNY

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  10. hmm simon tosky a man with few words is a gangsta

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  11. simon tosky a man of few words is a G

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  12. simong. tosk.
    sitosk.
    you are the man.
    this is rididcc broo
    keep it fresh son
    you mad OG
    very vivid descriptions
    and oh yeah cant forget
    the hamburga babyyyy

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  13. matt why you hatin on this

    Simon, this is spectacular writing. Nice imagery and slab of humor. SO FUNNY

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  14. IM AN OBESE PIGEON WITH BOOBS

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  15. "She looked like the type that enjoys cat food. She probably had cats before she ate them."
    Harsh LoL

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  16. All I can say is wow. I remember when he read this in class; I thought it was so funny. Today I read it again; I felt it was even better the second time. Also, I’m wondering how Simon picked the title “THE RECESSION IS OVA. After reading it multiple times, I don’t see the relation but maybe there’s not supposed to be one. A++

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